I've realized recently the many blessings I am being showered with that I tend not to appreciate, or possibly take for granted.
It made me realize how many things in life are overlooked, undervalued, and simply just always assumed to be there.
There's one more thing that goes along with this, really...not realizing when what you've been asking for has actually been given to you.
So much has been going on lately that it's difficult to see straight. Right now, I'm studying for get another exam, and it's much less than promising.
But beyond all the junk in my backyard (so to speak), there is so much good, and so much light.
Yes, I have to take this ridiculous discipline and I don't understand any of it (really - it could be taught in German, and I'd probably get just as much...maybe more), but how many people don't have this opportunity of being able to go to away to school, school through the summer, or even go to school at all?
This is just one train of thought that has countered some of the others, and made me realize how absolutely blessed I am, even though it may seem like I'm sifting through a deserted wasteland.
That's another thing - whatever this is, it isn't deserted. Receiving is something that I don't do all that well...okay, I don't do it well at all. I'd like to, but when I'm confronted with these things I thought I'd never get but only hoped for, I can't accept them.
Asking God for something is a tricky business, because what you ask for comes as what you need but not necessarily what you want. And furthermore, what I'm finding out now is that sometimes, you can't really handle it. Or at least, another lesson and message is tied up inside it. Not to say that that's a bad thing - not at all - but it's surely frustrating at times.
That, however, brings me back to "whatever this is" not being "deserted".
Blessings come in any and every form you can think of - people, being one of them. And those people - those blessings - they are constant reminders and assurance that you are not alone. They are reminders - whether you want them or not - of just about everything, and they carry with them different messages.
Although this has been something that has made this year extremely difficult, I also don't know what I would have done without them - which, let's face it, is a very scary thought. We are never alone; He is always with us. Therefore, we are never deserted. However, it can be very easy in times of difficulty to listen to the Devil at your shoulder, feeding your brain with every lie he has to offer, and all the problems he's hoping will bring you flat on your face. But our God knows, and He is much bigger than that. He knows we need something tangible to remind us that we are not alone - words that we can hear, eyes that we can see, and hands that we can hold. That, in itself, is a blessing.
I'm sorry, this might seem like a random blabbering post, but it's just some thoughts fishing around in my mind... some reminders, and some ponderings...
I don't know much, and that might be the only thing I do know. However, I do know this:
We are never alone, and we are always blessed.
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