This summer has been a whirlwind.
Actually, it's kind of been this massive tornado that rips through everything and leaves all of the strewn bits everywhere and all the remnants are just chaos.
But isn't that just the way.
For months now I've been asking God what He wants from me, but I haven't really been getting any answers. And just when I think I found the right path - bam! Tornado hits.
After a while, that pattern really gets to a person. At least, it's been getting to me.
Last night at young adults, one of the questions we discussed in Bible Study in preparation for Sunday's service was when God has used the meagre resources in your life and multiplied them for the good of others. Various people shared stories, and I even shared one of my own. But today has definitely been an example of God's work and using those minimal resources for good.
As I mentioned, this summer's been quite the storm. But today it's like God came and gave me this giant hug and everything just went calm. Which, while sometimes is terrifying, right now, is just beautiful. Everything is working out. I've got a roof over my head, time to spend volunteering, enough to eat, people who love and care about me, and so many more wonderful blessings.
It's so easy to look at things, especially in the storm, and say that everything is terrible. But this has definitely been a lesson for me about hope, and a reminder of those blessings that are so often forgotten.
God's got us all covered. Each and every one of us.
And now it's time for a new journey... God Bless, all! :)
Thursday, 31 July 2014
Sunday, 20 April 2014
What's the deal?
I genuinely don't understand how humanity works. I feel like it's possible that I am the only one in the universe who somehow ended up off of the gravy train that everyone else follows, but I just don't get it.
I don't get how we can have relationships with people we don't continually invest in, and how we can put things on the back-burner for extended amounts of time and then go back to them and find that everything hasn't burned to a crisp.
We cannot juggle everything - that's impossible. I get that. But that's also why we can only put so much on our plates at a given time. That's why sometimes you have to let things go and move on. But how then, can we say that we want to keep hold of something that we don't invest in, maintain, and put ourselves and our time into?
I get that this is a huge concept, but I just don't get it. If you eave a pot on the stove and forget about it, it burns. If you don't take care of a garden, everything dies, weeds take over, and everything's a dirty, ugly, disgusting mess. If you plant seeds in soil that can't grow anything...well that pretty much answers its own result.
Yet we do this all of the time with people in our lives.
We treat them like the decorations we only pull out at Christmas, or that gift that your mom sets on the mantle when her mother-in-law visits so she doesn't get offended. We box them up and take them out when it's either convenient or we're forced to for various reasons. We rationalize it by saying it's how life works, and that we're really busy, and that we can't put all of our time where we aren't...
But then where are our roots?
We invest time in our families even though we aren't with them, because we love them and care about them. But are they the only people worth our time when we aren't with them? Are our significant others and our families the only people we can continually invest in? Maybe I'm wrong, or maybe I'm just plain crazy, but I feel like those aren't the only people who have helped us get where we are. I feel like those aren't the only people we love and hold dear. I feel like those aren't the only people who have contributed to us being able to stand right now. And yet we just treat them like they don't really matter, and can only count when we have time, or when things are easy.
Newsflash: things are never easy. That's why things take effort.
Graduating high school - takes effort.
Graduating university - takes effort.
Getting a job...and keeping it - takes effort.
Maintaining relationships - takes effort.
Everything takes effort.
If we wait for things to become easy or convenient to concern ourselves with them, then we will be waiting forever...which often is exactly what happens. Often times, we move on in the process and then there's usually some kind of explanation about how things just didn't work out...but how many people have we hurt by just simply not caring enough to put in the effort? Does that even matter to most people?
Maybe I'm the village idiot in this crazy world, but I feel like people aren't like the Christmas lights that we only look at maybe once a year. They aren't like the random junk we put in boxes and hang on to because maybe one day we might need them again. And when we treat them like they are, we end up hurting them more than we could ever know. And, to put a selfish spin on it, we also end up hurting ourselves.
I could go on about this for quite a while, but by now you've probably had enough of my chatter. I know it sounds like I'm ranting and raving - and maybe on some level I am - but I am genuinely curious as to how everyone else sees humanity and relationships. I am genuinely curious as to what the answer is, and why we treat people the way we do...why we expect everything to be okay with people when we ignore them, put them in boxes, and come back to them when it's easy and convenient. And then how do we say it isn't easy? It is - we're taking the easy way out. If we're going to do it, we better at least be big enough to admit it. But we aren't. We rationalize everything and then continue on with our lives.
Well then what about care for others? What about the lessons we've learned from God and the teachings we read in the Bible? If we can't at least trying to live out what we're being taught without rationalizing our way out of our faults and excusing them, then where is the application of trying to live our lives like Christ? Where is the application of everything we've been taught? Does that only happen when it's easy and convenient, too?
I don't know...maybe I'm nuts. It's just a bunch of ramblings, but I guess I just had to get it out.
God Bless all,
EE
I don't get how we can have relationships with people we don't continually invest in, and how we can put things on the back-burner for extended amounts of time and then go back to them and find that everything hasn't burned to a crisp.
We cannot juggle everything - that's impossible. I get that. But that's also why we can only put so much on our plates at a given time. That's why sometimes you have to let things go and move on. But how then, can we say that we want to keep hold of something that we don't invest in, maintain, and put ourselves and our time into?
I get that this is a huge concept, but I just don't get it. If you eave a pot on the stove and forget about it, it burns. If you don't take care of a garden, everything dies, weeds take over, and everything's a dirty, ugly, disgusting mess. If you plant seeds in soil that can't grow anything...well that pretty much answers its own result.
Yet we do this all of the time with people in our lives.
We treat them like the decorations we only pull out at Christmas, or that gift that your mom sets on the mantle when her mother-in-law visits so she doesn't get offended. We box them up and take them out when it's either convenient or we're forced to for various reasons. We rationalize it by saying it's how life works, and that we're really busy, and that we can't put all of our time where we aren't...
But then where are our roots?
We invest time in our families even though we aren't with them, because we love them and care about them. But are they the only people worth our time when we aren't with them? Are our significant others and our families the only people we can continually invest in? Maybe I'm wrong, or maybe I'm just plain crazy, but I feel like those aren't the only people who have helped us get where we are. I feel like those aren't the only people we love and hold dear. I feel like those aren't the only people who have contributed to us being able to stand right now. And yet we just treat them like they don't really matter, and can only count when we have time, or when things are easy.
Newsflash: things are never easy. That's why things take effort.
Graduating high school - takes effort.
Graduating university - takes effort.
Getting a job...and keeping it - takes effort.
Maintaining relationships - takes effort.
Everything takes effort.
If we wait for things to become easy or convenient to concern ourselves with them, then we will be waiting forever...which often is exactly what happens. Often times, we move on in the process and then there's usually some kind of explanation about how things just didn't work out...but how many people have we hurt by just simply not caring enough to put in the effort? Does that even matter to most people?
Maybe I'm the village idiot in this crazy world, but I feel like people aren't like the Christmas lights that we only look at maybe once a year. They aren't like the random junk we put in boxes and hang on to because maybe one day we might need them again. And when we treat them like they are, we end up hurting them more than we could ever know. And, to put a selfish spin on it, we also end up hurting ourselves.
I could go on about this for quite a while, but by now you've probably had enough of my chatter. I know it sounds like I'm ranting and raving - and maybe on some level I am - but I am genuinely curious as to how everyone else sees humanity and relationships. I am genuinely curious as to what the answer is, and why we treat people the way we do...why we expect everything to be okay with people when we ignore them, put them in boxes, and come back to them when it's easy and convenient. And then how do we say it isn't easy? It is - we're taking the easy way out. If we're going to do it, we better at least be big enough to admit it. But we aren't. We rationalize everything and then continue on with our lives.
Well then what about care for others? What about the lessons we've learned from God and the teachings we read in the Bible? If we can't at least trying to live out what we're being taught without rationalizing our way out of our faults and excusing them, then where is the application of trying to live our lives like Christ? Where is the application of everything we've been taught? Does that only happen when it's easy and convenient, too?
I don't know...maybe I'm nuts. It's just a bunch of ramblings, but I guess I just had to get it out.
God Bless all,
EE
Thursday, 6 February 2014
Growing up is hard to do
You hear it so often, but it's only tonight, really, that it's hit me in this way.
I keep hearing how growing is a good thing; how growth is not only necessary, but positive. But what about when it doesn't feel positive? What about when it feels like all that's happening is being hit over the head while you are constantly failing and no longer able to do even half of what you've always done? What about that.
I keep hearing about how growth is progress...except, it sure doesn't feel that way. What about not being able to do everything you've always done is progress? How is that positive, progressive, and good?
The only thing I can think of is that it's not about how we measure progress, just like it's not about how we measure success, time, and other things we think are ours to measure. It's about how God measures; what He thinks, and what He wants. It's so frustrating, though, because it's not like He's sharing any insight with me right now, even though I desperately wish He would.
I'm in an evangelism class right now, and my professor (who so happens to be a pastor at the church I am serving at currently) told us that evangelism is simply one beggar telling another beggar where to find bread.
It's an interesting concept actually, and one I haven't been able to get out of my mind pretty much since he said it. It reminds me of how in church work, we are really just broken people working to serve other broken people, and share the light and Good News of Christ with them.
As humans, we are this giant culture of broken, sinful people, trying to help, serve, share, and lead other sinful, broken people.
I once had someone talk to me about how if the only thing I knew was that I didn't know anything, that I was in a pretty good situation, because there wasn't anything else I could do but ask God to help me.
As I was remembering this just now, it hit me in a way it hasn't before...that actually is some wonderfully Good News, because if you're at the point where you know nothing...if you're at the bottom...the only place to look is up. And if you know nothing, then your slate is brilliantly empty, and it gives the Good Lord alot of space to fill your thoughts with what He needs you to be thinking, and to make your knowledge completely full with Him.
That's pretty amazing news if you ask me. She's a brilliantly wise lady.
It's funny how all of this relates back to growth and growing up...we never think things are going to go the way they go - until they actually do it. There's this saying in psychology that says how hindsight is always 20/20. When I think about certain things, I have those moments where I know exactly everything...but only after it's already happened.
How amazing it is that we have this all-knowing, infinite, incredible Father who knows everything, always. How amazing it is that we can trust in Him and lean on Him - and what's even more amazing (and baffling) - to me, anyways - is that He wants us to.
So even though this process of growth is extremely difficult, and I don't quite understand it pretty much all of the time, it's about trust. And because I am a sinful human I know I'll fail and falter in my trust, and doubt when I shouldn't, and all those other things that I don't mean to do but end up doing anyways. But He's got me close, and He knows what's what.
And if that's something I can remember and hang on to - well, I guess growing isn't so bad...
Peace all!
Night :)
I keep hearing how growing is a good thing; how growth is not only necessary, but positive. But what about when it doesn't feel positive? What about when it feels like all that's happening is being hit over the head while you are constantly failing and no longer able to do even half of what you've always done? What about that.
I keep hearing about how growth is progress...except, it sure doesn't feel that way. What about not being able to do everything you've always done is progress? How is that positive, progressive, and good?
The only thing I can think of is that it's not about how we measure progress, just like it's not about how we measure success, time, and other things we think are ours to measure. It's about how God measures; what He thinks, and what He wants. It's so frustrating, though, because it's not like He's sharing any insight with me right now, even though I desperately wish He would.
I'm in an evangelism class right now, and my professor (who so happens to be a pastor at the church I am serving at currently) told us that evangelism is simply one beggar telling another beggar where to find bread.
It's an interesting concept actually, and one I haven't been able to get out of my mind pretty much since he said it. It reminds me of how in church work, we are really just broken people working to serve other broken people, and share the light and Good News of Christ with them.
As humans, we are this giant culture of broken, sinful people, trying to help, serve, share, and lead other sinful, broken people.
I once had someone talk to me about how if the only thing I knew was that I didn't know anything, that I was in a pretty good situation, because there wasn't anything else I could do but ask God to help me.
As I was remembering this just now, it hit me in a way it hasn't before...that actually is some wonderfully Good News, because if you're at the point where you know nothing...if you're at the bottom...the only place to look is up. And if you know nothing, then your slate is brilliantly empty, and it gives the Good Lord alot of space to fill your thoughts with what He needs you to be thinking, and to make your knowledge completely full with Him.
That's pretty amazing news if you ask me. She's a brilliantly wise lady.
It's funny how all of this relates back to growth and growing up...we never think things are going to go the way they go - until they actually do it. There's this saying in psychology that says how hindsight is always 20/20. When I think about certain things, I have those moments where I know exactly everything...but only after it's already happened.
How amazing it is that we have this all-knowing, infinite, incredible Father who knows everything, always. How amazing it is that we can trust in Him and lean on Him - and what's even more amazing (and baffling) - to me, anyways - is that He wants us to.
So even though this process of growth is extremely difficult, and I don't quite understand it pretty much all of the time, it's about trust. And because I am a sinful human I know I'll fail and falter in my trust, and doubt when I shouldn't, and all those other things that I don't mean to do but end up doing anyways. But He's got me close, and He knows what's what.
And if that's something I can remember and hang on to - well, I guess growing isn't so bad...
Peace all!
Night :)
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